humour

When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin?
When you drop it; then it's squash!

Who comes to the field when the pumpkins get sick?
"Patch" Adams!

Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange?
So he could hide in the pumpkin patch.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

What do ghosts serve for desert?
Ice Scream

When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?
When you are a mouse

What was the witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare Centers

Why don't skeletons like parties?
They have no body to dance with.

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boo's.

What was the favorite game at the ghosts' birthday party?
Hide and Shriek.

How does a witch tell time?
She looks at her witch watch.

Why do mummies make good employees?
They get all wrapped up in their work

What surgery does a vampire doctor perform?
Fly by night operations

Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend

Why didn't the skeleton want to play football?
Because his heart wasn't in it!

Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
They're afraid of flying off the handle

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo

What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.

What kind of dog does Dracula have? A Bloodhound

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch!

Why did the pumpkin wear a football helmet?
Because it was a jock-o'-lantern!

What did one jack-o-lantern say to the other?
Cut it out!

Where do spooks water ski?
On Lake Erie

What happened to the guy who didn't pay his exorcist?
He was repossessed

Where do mummies go for a swim?
To the dead sea

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch

What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Boo-ties!

What kind of roads do ghosts haunt?
Dead Ends

Who did the ghost invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up!

When do ghouls cook their victims?
On Fry Day

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin Goblin

When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?
Wrap!

What song does Dracula hate?
"You Are My Sunshine"

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license.

What do you call a little monsters parents?
mummy and deady

What do you give a vampire with a cold?
Coffin Drops!

Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.